Monday 10 February 2014

Call for Entrants: Bard of Exeter 2014 Competition Now Open!

The Exeter Bardic Chair is appointed by the Caer Wyse Gorsedd, or meeting of bards, through a public competition. 
We ask all candidates to be at the Bike Shed Theatre by 7pm on the 23rd February, the date of the competition. The proceedings start at 7:30pm. We aim to have elected a new Bard and finish the event by 10:30pm.

Each candidate is asked to provide two things on the evening of the competition:
1. Up to seven minutes of your own material, which may be song, poetry or story, or a mixture of these. Traditionally, the material is presented without a script, but as long as you can perform to the audience, we won’t be too strict.

2. Provide a manifesto (not more than 200 words) of what you would do if you were to become Bard – for the city of Exeter, the arts scene and the Bardic traditions. If you have any particular project in mind, this would be the place to mention it. The manifesto will be read out by you before or after your performance.

After all the candidates have performed and read their manifestos, the audience will vote for their favourite. There will be a break while we add up the scores.
The only requirement as Bard is to organise the next year's competition to find your successor. Any other duties are optional - it is up to you to do what you want with the role, and each person brings their own talents and ideas to the Bardic Chair.

The winner is presented with a robe and chair, which is in their safekeeping for a year and a day, when it is passed to their successor. You are required to take a simple vow on winning the title. The Bardic tradition.

Any questions, please ask. Please confirm your intention to take part, via email to, by Sunday 16th February 2014.
You can find out further details at the organiser's website. Please contact them directly with any questions. Thank you!

Monday 3 February 2014

Featured Poem Feb 2014 - 'Teachers' by Terry Caffrey


You see the Teachers
They rule the classroom
And in a classroom then the teacher's word is law
They give us homework
I get it all wrong - and
Then I'm standing in the corner near the door.

I fainted, I panicked, my clothes were far too tight
I wobbled, I waivered
I gave the kids a fright
I went to pieces
At St. Teresa's
But then a dinner lady
Brought me back to life.)

You see the teachers are always shouting
And all that shouting doesn't get them anywhere
It hurts their voices
They wag their fingers
Stamp their feet and end up pulling out their hair.


You see Teachers they take the lessons
They teach us maths and art and english all the day
Say "get your books out"
Sit up and listen
But we're just kids and all we wanna do is play.


Tom cats and meeces
Some sheep wear fleeces
And it's so hard to balance peas upon your knife
Some chimpanzeezers
and cockney geezers
have took a dinner lady
home to meet the wife.


I fainted, I panicked
I kissed the cat goodnight
I tumbled, I bumbled
The dog put out the light.

I went to pieces
at St. Tereas's
But then a dinner lady
brought me back to life.

© Terry Caffrey 2014
Please do not use without the poet’s permission.


For further information about Terry and his work please visit Terry's page here.